I used to be fat

The New TV show starts tonight on MTV, I used to be fat. It follows overweight teens who have just graduated from high school, and gives them the tools that they need to overcome their weight problems. http://www.mtv.com/shows/i_used_to_be_fat/series.jhtml

Well, I used to be fat. I was always the heaviest girl in my class, and many times I was heavier than most of the boys in my class. I always had friends, and never got down on myself like so many overweight kids do. Maybe it's because I had an amazing family and friends who never criticized me for my size, but instead encouraged me to get healthy with family workouts to Richard Simmons sweating to the oldies, and an exercise chart where we earned stars for our healthy habits.

My Best Friend Stephanie and I circa 1997

It was not until my weight became a health concern that my lifestyle changed. I remember spraying pam into my mouth because it had no nutritional value and no calories. But again, my family ate what I ate, well aside from spraying Pam in their mouths. I was never singled out.

Sure, I got made fun of: I remember vividly, walking up the stairs and one of the older boys making a loud beeping noise, simulating the noise a large truck would make when backing up, or walking down the hall and someone saying mooooove implying I was as big as a cow. Instead of getting down on myself, or doing something harmful I think that all of these things softened my heart. It made me more cognoscente when I went to say a mean or hurtful thing to someone, and made me want to be a friend to all.

Years later I can look back on all of these things and laugh. Being fat never defined who I was because I didn't let it, and those around me wouldn't have allowed it. Even at my heaviest I was still out there on the soccer field playing my heart out, or in the middle of the sleeping bags at a slumber party, and of course the first one to ask for seconds at a birthday party.

I've come to accept the fact that i will never be the skinniest of my friends, and that's ok. Body image will always be something that hits close to home with me, but also a victory for me and how far I've come. In March, God willing, I will complete my first half marathon, and I can proudly say, I used to be fat, but not anymore.

faith

Some people say I have too much, some say I fall too hard, and love too deeply. they're usually the ones picking up the pieces when my faith gets the best of me.

I believe in God, I pray every night, but I'm not so sure I would consider myself to be an incredibly religious person. Yes, some of my faith does come from religious virtues, but a lot of it comes in other forms.

A simple good deed done by a stranger, neighbors helping neighbors in good times and in bad gives me faith in humanity.

knowing that no matter what I do, or have done - whether it be rack up some pretty hefty credit card bills, or lying about getting my ears pierced, I've got family and friends who love me unconditionally gives me faith that undying love exists.

I have faith in my dreams and in my future for what lies ahead because of those who have done it before me, do it with me, and for those who stand behind me.

I believe in happy endings, that some dreams really do come true, and the ones that don't make room for new ones. I believe that it's easier to see the good in others, until the bad is just too blinding, and even then sometimes it takes being in complete darkness to really see the light.

my faith is what gets me into trouble, what keeps me going, and what I can't live without.

"a little faith will bring your soul to heaven,

but a lot of faith with bring heaven to your soul."